The Question That Made Me Stop Wasting Time
Why accepting death became my most powerful productivity tool
I was rewriting an email for the third time, agonizing over whether the tone was professional enough, when a thought stopped me cold:
If I died right now, would I want my last act to be perfecting this email?
The question felt morbid, but it was clarifying. I hit send on version two and moved on to something that actually mattered.
That moment changed how I think about time forever.
Most of what we stress about won’t matter in an hour, let alone a lifetime.
The Invisible Audience That Controls Us
Here’s something uncomfortable we rarely admit: We live as if we’re constantly being watched.
We polish presentations no one will remember. We craft social media posts for audiences that barely exist. We stress about details that literally no one will notice.
Most people aren’t watching you as closely as you think.
I used to spend hours perfecting work that would be glanced at for thirty seconds. I’d revise documents that would be filed and forgotten. I’d prepare for meetings where my contribution would be a footnote.
If no one will notice, skip it.
This isn’t about doing poor work. It’s about distinguishing between work that matters and work that feels like it should matter.
Why We Procrastinate on the Things That Count
We delay the important and rush through the urgent. We postpone meaningful conversations and answer emails immediately. We put off creative projects and prioritize administrative tasks.
Why this happens: Small tasks feel manageable. Important tasks feel overwhelming.
But here’s what changed my perspective entirely:
You could be gone in five minutes. Do you want to spend them answering emails?
This sounds dramatic, but it’s statistically accurate. Every day, people leave for work and don’t come home. They start conversations they never finish. They postpone dreams they never pursue.
The uncomfortable truth: We procrastinate on small tasks, forgetting how little time we actually have.
Time and money are always a trade-off.
But most of us optimize for the wrong one.
We spend hours to save dollars. We choose convenience over connection. We prioritize earning over experiencing.
The questions that re-frame everything:
How much time am I trading for this money?
How much money am I trading for this time?
Which one can I replace, and which one can’t I?
Money can be earned again. Time cannot.
Every financial decision is really a time decision. Every time decision has financial implications.
The key is being intentional about both instead of unconscious about one.
The Energy Equation Nobody Talks About
Here’s something that took me years to understand:
The more choices you make and the more information you process, the less energy you’ll have for creativity and focus when it counts.
Decision fatigue is real. Information overload is real. Mental bandwidth is finite.
What this looks like:
Spending 20 minutes choosing what to watch on Netflix
Scrolling social media between important tasks
Keeping too many browser tabs open
Saying yes to meetings that don’t need you
Each micro-decision depletes your capacity for macro-decisions.
The solution isn’t willpower. It’s systems that eliminate unnecessary choices.
The Power of the 10-Minute List
One of the most practical changes I made was creating a list of what I can accomplish in ten minutes.
Examples from my list:
Write a rough draft of an email
Clean my desk completely
Do a quick workout routine
Brainstorm ideas for a project
Have a meaningful conversation with my kids
Review and update my daily priorities
Why this works:
Small wins build momentum
Ten minutes feels manageable when you’re avoiding something bigger
Progress compounds faster than perfectionism
You can always find ten minutes
When you feel stuck, pick something from your ten-minute list instead of scrolling or procrastinating.
After years of experimenting with productivity systems, these simple rules have had the biggest impact:
1. Same Bedtime and Wake Time, No Exceptions
Your circadian rhythm affects everything: mood, creativity, decision-making, energy.
Pick a bedtime and wake time. Stick to them even on weekends. Even when you don’t feel like it.
The payoff: Consistent energy, better focus, improved mood regulation.
2. If It Won’t Matter Tomorrow, Let It Go Today
Before responding to criticism: Will this matter tomorrow? Before perfecting something: Will anyone notice the difference? Before getting upset: Will I care about this next week?
The practice: Pause before reacting. Ask if it will matter in 24 hours.
3. Pay Attention to Details That Matter, Ignore the Rest
The distinction: Details that affect outcomes vs. details that affect appearance.
Focus on: User experience, relationship quality, skill development Ignore: Perfect formatting, social media metrics, others’ opinions of your choices
This might sound heavy, but accepting death as a reality—not dwelling on it, just acknowledging it—makes life more meaningful.
Death is part of life. That fact makes every minute more valuable.
The questions that matter:
If I had one year left, would I spend it this way?
What would I regret not doing?
What would I regret not saying?
Who would I regret not spending time with?
These aren’t morbid questions. They’re clarifying questions.
Accepting the reality of death makes you more alive to the present.
Why Limits Actually Set You Free
Everyone gets the same 24 hours. You won’t get more. This constraint, which seems restrictive, is actually liberating.
When you can’t do everything, every choice matters.
The freedom comes from:
Permission to say no to good things for great things
Focus on what only you can do
Less anxiety about missing opportunities
More presence in chosen activities
By accepting limits, we feel more free.
The alternative—believing you can do everything—leads to anxiety, overwhelm, and the constant feeling of being behind.
Knowing we can’t do everything forces us to be present.
This is both helpful and uncomfortable. Helpful because it creates focus. Uncomfortable because it reminds us of our mortality.
When you catch your mind racing toward future tasks or past mistakes, ask:
What needs my attention right now?
What can I only do in this moment?
How can I be fully here?
The result: Less anxiety about time, more satisfaction with how you spend it.
Even if life feels small in the grand scheme of the universe, it’s all we have.
The paradox: Accepting that your life is brief and small in cosmic terms makes every choice more significant, not less.
Why this helps:
Reduces pressure to achieve everything
Increases appreciation for ordinary moments
Clarifies what actually matters to you
Eliminates competition with others’ timelines
The insight: Your life doesn’t need to be cosmically significant to be personally meaningful.
The Choice That’s Always Yours
No one’s telling you how to spend your time. The choice is yours.
This is empowering and terrifying.
Empowering because you have agency. Terrifying because you have responsibility.
The questions that guide everything:
How do I want to spend my finite time?
What deserves my irreplaceable attention?
What would I choose if no one else’s opinion mattered?
The practice: Regular time audits. Look at how you actually spend your days vs. how you want to spend them. Adjust accordingly.
Here’s the simple system I use to make these principles practical:
Morning (5 minutes):
What matters most today?
What can I do in ten minutes if I get stuck?
What will I let go of today?
Throughout the day:
Will this matter tomorrow?
Am I choosing time or money, and why?
What needs my attention right now?
Evening (5 minutes):
What did I learn about how I spend time?
What would I do differently?
What am I grateful for from today?
The Real Productivity Secret
The best productivity advice isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing less of what doesn’t matter so you can focus on what does.
The shift:
From busy to intentional
From reactive to proactive
From perfect to present
From anxious to accepting
The goal: Not to optimize every minute, but to be intentional about how you spend your days.
I’m not perfect at this. Some days I still waste time on things that don’t matter. Some days I still procrastinate on what’s important.
But the questions have changed:
Instead of “How can I do more?” I ask “What’s worth doing at all?”
Instead of “How can I be more productive?” I ask “What deserves my time?”
Instead of “Am I behind?” I ask “Am I present?”
The result: Less anxiety, more satisfaction. Less busy, more meaningful.
Your Starting Point
Don’t try to implement everything at once. Start with one principle:
Week 1: Make your 10-minute list. Use it when you feel stuck.
Week 2: Before reacting to anything, ask “Will this matter tomorrow?”
Week 3: Set a consistent bedtime and wake time. No exceptions.
Week 4: Do a time audit. Track how you actually spend your hours.
Time is the only resource you can’t earn more of. How you spend it is the only choice that’s entirely yours.
Most of us spend more time planning our vacations than planning our lives.
Every day is a chance to be more intentional about what deserves your irreplaceable attention.
Not perfection, but presence. Not optimization, but intention.
Death gives life meaning. Limits create freedom. Choice creates responsibility.
The question that changes everything: If this were your last day, how would you spend it? Now, how can you spend today a little more like that?
What’s one thing you’re spending time on that won’t matter tomorrow? What’s one thing that matters that you keep putting off?
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