I Had Everything I Thought I Wanted (And Felt Empty Inside)
Why our generation is drowning in information but starving for the one thing that actually matters
Three years ago, I was living the dream on paper.
Six-figure income. A calendar packed with opportunities. The kind of life that looked perfect on LinkedIn.
But every morning, I woke up feeling… hollow.
I’d scroll through social media, consuming endless streams of advice, inspiration, and updates. I had access to more information than any human in history. Yet I felt more confused than ever.
I was swimming in information but starving for clarity.
Our generation has a unique problem.
We can see everyone else’s highlight reel 24/7. The entrepreneur with the perfect morning routine. The colleague who got promoted. The friend who seems to have their life figured out.
We compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.
I spent years measuring my progress against other people’s success. Their wealth, their achievements, their apparent happiness.
It was exhausting. And it was pointless.
The only fair comparison is who you were yesterday versus who you are today.
Not who you are versus your college roommate who started that company. Not who you are versus the influencer with the perfect life. Not who you are versus anyone else.
Just you. Yesterday. Versus today.
Why Happiness Feels So Distant
We’ve been sold a lie about happiness.
The lie says: “Get more stuff, achieve more goals, earn more money, and happiness will follow.”
But once your basic needs are met, the research is clear: More wealth brings diminishing returns on happiness.
I learned this the hard way. Every promotion, every raise, every external marker of success gave me a brief high followed by… emptiness.
The uncomfortable truth: We’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy.
We think the next achievement will be the one that finally satisfies us. It never is.
Why? Because happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at. Happiness is a practice you cultivate.
The Three Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck
After studying happiness and examining my own patterns, I identified three toxic beliefs our generation carries:
1. “My Worth Equals My Wealth”
We measure ourselves by our bank account, our job title, our possessions. This creates an endless chase because there’s always someone with more.
2. “I Should Be Perfect”
We believe mistakes are failures instead of learning opportunities. This perfectionism paralyzes us and prevents growth.
3. “External Things Will Fix Internal Problems”
We think the right job, the right relationship, or the right achievement will solve our inner emptiness. They won’t.
We outsource our happiness to things we can’t fully control.
What Actually Works (The Framework That Changed My Life)
After two years of experimentation, here’s what I’ve learned works:
1. Focus on What You Control
Energy drains: Anger about the past, worry about the future, resentment about things outside your influence.
Energy sources: Your daily habits, your responses to situations, your effort and attitude.
The practice: Every morning, I write three things I can control today and three things I need to let go of.
2. Take Action, Don’t Dwell
The rule: If you want to feed a problem, keep thinking about it. If you want to diminish a problem, take action.
What changed: Instead of analyzing why I felt stuck, I started taking one small action toward what I wanted.
The result: Progress creates momentum. Momentum creates confidence. Confidence creates more progress.
3. Cultivate Gratitude (But Make It Real)
Not the shallow “be grateful for everything” advice. Specific gratitude for specific things.
Instead of: “I’m grateful for my health” Try: “I’m grateful my body carried me through a challenging workout today”
Instead of: “I’m grateful for my job” Try: “I’m grateful for the conversation with my colleague that helped me see a new perspective”
The Originality Problem
Here’s something nobody talks about: We’re all copying each other’s paths to happiness.
We read the same productivity blogs. Follow the same morning routines. Chase the same definition of success.
But originality begins where imitation ends.
Your path to fulfillment won’t look like anyone else’s because you’re not anyone else.
The shift: Stop asking “What should I do?” Start asking “What feels true for me?”
This doesn’t mean ignore advice. It means filter advice through your own values, circumstances, and goals.
The Work That Actually Fulfills
I used to think fulfillment came from external recognition.
Promotions, praise, public success. These things felt good, but they were temporary highs.
Real fulfillment comes from work that feels true to who you are.
This might be your day job. It might be a side project. It might be how you show up for your family.
The key isn’t what you do—it’s whether it aligns with your values and uses your strengths in service of something meaningful to you.
Ask: Does this work energize me or drain me? Does it feel like I’m becoming more myself or less myself?
The Daily Practice
Here’s the system I’ve used for 18 months:
Morning (5 minutes):
Three things I can control today
One thing I’m specifically grateful for
One action I’ll take toward something meaningful
Evening (5 minutes):
What did I learn about myself today?
How did I grow compared to yesterday?
What do I want to let go of?
Progress over perfection. Missing a day doesn’t matter. The pattern matters.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
Our generation faces a unique challenge.
We have unprecedented access to information, opportunities, and distractions. We can compare ourselves to anyone, chase any dream, consume any content.
But more options don’t create more clarity. They create more confusion.
The answer isn’t more information. It’s more discernment.
The skill of the future: Knowing what to ignore so you can focus on what matters.
The Uncomfortable Truth
Happiness requires responsibility.
You have to take ownership of your inner world. You have to choose your focus. You have to act despite uncertainty.
This is harder than blaming circumstances or waiting for external changes. But it’s the only path that actually works.
Taking full responsibility for your happiness is what frees you from needing external validation to feel good.
Your Starting Point
Don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. That’s the perfection trap again.
Week 1: Compare yourself only to who you were yesterday. Notice when you’re measuring against others and redirect.
Week 2: Add the 5-minute morning practice. Three things you control, one gratitude, one action.
Week 3: Take one action daily instead of dwelling on problems. Small actions count.
Week 4: Ask yourself: “Does this feel true to who I am?” Let that guide one decision.
The goal isn’t to be happy all the time. That’s impossible and exhausting.
The goal is to build practices that help you navigate life’s challenges while staying connected to what matters most.
Instead of waiting for happiness to find you, you actively create the conditions where happiness can emerge.
You stop swimming in information and start building clarity.
You stop comparing yourself to everyone else and start becoming the best version of yourself.
The result: A life that feels genuinely yours, not a copy of someone else’s highlight reel.
What’s one thing you’ve been comparing to others that you could start measuring against your own progress instead? Reply to this email with your answer, thank you!
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